Hey there! If someone you’re texting to that you’re interested in but aren’t really getting much response from, chances are you’re in the dreaded boring text trap. Don’t worry, I’m here to help you to break out of it and begin having meaningful, engaging conversations.
Let’s get right into it. Here, you can find five simple strategies that will help make your texts impossible to ignore.
1. Don’t Use the Same Greetings in every day
However, a lot of people believe starting a conversation like “Hey” or “How’s it going” to be the way to go. The problem? It’s repetitive, uninspired and gets all the pressure off the other person on actually keeping the conversation going.
Instead of just going with default of “hi” or “what’s up”, make sure you don’t just start with hi or what’s up. For example:
I just got hit by something!
“A nice quick question—what’s your favourite movie of all time?”
From the beginning they get your interest going, then you have a great conversation.
2. Questions and between stories.
Change the way you take on boring texts if you don’t want it to be boring. Make things dynamic and interesting by combining open ended questions with personal stories.
Ask thoughtful questions like:
“What place in the world would you live in, if you had to choose anywhere?”
“So, what’s the funniest thing that’s happened to you this week?”
Share your own experiences in turn, and then balance it out. Small, but funny moments in your day will be pure conversation gold. For instance:
“There, a squirrel tried to steal my sandwich on my way home today!”
By taking that approach, you’re not only making your crush think something to reply to, but you’re also making the interaction more memorable.
3. Teasing is one type of playfulness we can add to spice up relationships.
You can still get playful, playful teasing, playful flirting… That being said, just make sure it’s light and never goes too far.
For example, if they mention loving a specific animal, you could jokingly nickname them after it:
“She just really strikes again as a ‘Kangaroo Queen!’”
When it comes to flirting, it’s about specific, sincere compliments. Instead of generic remarks like “You’re pretty,” try:
“I laughed all day from that joke you made at lunch, your sense of humor is seriously underrated.”
If they feel they’re flirting, it should feel good because they’re being noticed and appreciated, not overused cliches.
4. Don’t Get Stuck in the Texting Zone—Make Plans
Texting is easy but you can only go so far. Eventually, you may want to swap gears and organize an in person chat.
You’ve been texting for weeks or months and not once did you ever really meet up. Keep it simple and low-pressure:
“Get in some lunch sometime this week?”
“Are you free after school? We should go for ice cream.”
Chatting offline adds depth to your connection and also keeps it from fizzling out.
5. Be Patient—Don’t Overtext
To send multiple messages hoping someone responds ASAP is tempting, but that’s not how it should be. Suddenly people aren’t getting the texts that they used to want or need. People are busy and getting a lot of text messages can be needy or overwhelming.
And if they’re not responding fast enough, then let them have more time. Be understanding and light, when they do respond. This way over time it builds trust and you show yourself respecting their boundaries.
If texting isn’t going to work, try meeting in person. Conversations can be a little more casual in a group setting rather than a one on one text hang out right out of the gate.
Don’t text nonstop in order to avoid running out of things to say. Make room for each other to do life so you can share new stories. The natural rhythm of these conversations makes them interesting and don’t degrade into repetition.
If you follow these five tips, you won’t get stuck in the boring text trap and anybody who is reading your text will be able to have fun, engaged conversations with you that it’s worth replying to. The key is to do something different, and ensure your messages are purposeful and you’re really interested in the person you’re texting.
Want more texting tips? For more strategies to improve your conversations, check out [this guide]. Good luck, and happy texting!