If you’ve ever wondered how to make your interactions more flirtatious, man-to-man, or downright sexy, you’re not alone. Creating that spark of attraction isn’t just about the words you say—it’s about your delivery, your vibe, and your nonverbal cues. Over the past seven years, I’ve coached hundreds of men on social confidence, dating, and cold approaches. One of the most common questions I get is: “How do I make my interactions more flirty?”
Let me break it down for you.
It’s All About the Vibe
A few days ago, I was on a one-on-one call with a client who said, “I’m getting into a lot of interactions, but I don’t know how to make them flirty.” As soon as he asked, I stopped him. Why? Because the way he asked the question revealed his sticking point: his vibe, delivery, and tone.
Think about it. When you observe animals in the wild, they communicate through specific sounds and body language. You don’t need to understand their “language” to know if they’re fighting, playing, or mating. The same goes for humans. You can tell if someone is angry, happy, or relaxed just by their tone, facial expressions, and body language.
For example, imagine someone giving a formal business presentation. Their tone is informative, their delivery is structured, and their energy is professional. Now, compare that to a flirtatious interaction. The sound, look, and vibe are completely different. Flirting has a softer, more playful tone—it’s about creating a connection, not delivering information.
The Sound of Flirting
If you’re trying to flirt with a girl but your voice sounds monotone, high-pitched, or overly formal, it’s not going to work. Flirting requires a specific delivery. Your voice needs to be softer, lighter, and more relaxed—like pillow talk.
Picture this: You’re lying in bed with someone after an intimate moment. You’re relaxed, smiling, and your voice is soft and warm. That’s the vibe you want to channel when flirting. It’s not about saying the “right” words; it’s about how you say them.
How to Adjust Your Communication
So, how do you develop this skill? Start by recording yourself. Listen to your voice and watch your body language. Can you make yourself laugh? Can you drop your voice to a softer, more intimate tone? Can you hold eye contact and create tension with a pause?
These are the tools of flirtation. It’s not about saying, “You look really cute.” It’s about how you deliver it. At an advanced level, you don’t even need the “right” words—your energy and delivery will do the work for you.
Sexy is a Vibe
Here’s the truth: Being sexy isn’t about your looks or the words you say. It’s about the vibe you project. I’ve seen guys who aren’t conventionally attractive come across as incredibly appealing simply because of their confidence and energy.
For example, during a recent live event, I noticed one client who looked physically attractive but struggled to connect with others. Why? Because his communication lacked emotion and confidence. On the other hand, I’ve seen guys who might not fit society’s “ideal” standards but radiate charisma and charm.
How to Improve Your Flirting Skills
The only way to get better at flirting is to practice. Record yourself, analyze your tone and body language, and make adjustments. Study how actors like Ryan Gosling deliver flirtatious lines—it’s not just about their words but their pauses, smiles, and eye contact.
If you feel cringe watching yourself, that’s a good thing. It means you’re becoming aware of areas for improvement. Don’t avoid it—embrace it. I was terrible at flirting when I started, but I kept practicing, adjusting, and refining my skills.
Take It Into the Real World
Once you’ve practiced at home, take your skills into the real world. Some interactions will hit, and others won’t. That’s okay. Over time, you’ll develop a feedback loop that helps you refine your approach.
Peace out, and let’s go!